Understanding
by pretty-dolly
Summary: after Sasori's death deidara is pained and confused. songfic song: Understanding by evanescence sasodei, R&R please


"You hold the answers deep

_"You hold the answers deep  
within your own mind.  
Consciously, you've forgotten it.  
That's the way the human mind works.  
Whenever something is too  
unpleasant, too shameful  
for us  
to entertain, we reject it.  
We erase it from our memories.  
But the answer is always there."_

Deidara sobbed into his pillow as he lay there on his bed. How could this have happened? He was just with him; he said he'd see him soon. Deidara's whole world seemed to be crashing down. Sasori, his one and only love. Killed, killed by an old hag and a pink haired whore. _Danna you can't leave_.

"DANNA!" he wailed the tears streaming down his face. _I-I can forget. Yes I will forget Danna. I have to, if…if I forget it won't hurt. This pain it will disappear? It has to._ And he prayed that he would awake tomorrow not remembering a thing.

_The pain that grips you  
The fear that binds you  
Releases life in me  
In our mutual  
Shame we idolize  
To blind them from the truth  
That finds a way from who we are  
Please don't be afraid  
When the darkness fades away  
The dawn will break the silence  
Screaming in our hearts  
My love for you still grows  
This I do for you  
Before I try to fight the  
truth my final time_

Deidara awoke the next morning and his mind was not remotely entertained by thoughts of Sasori for about three seconds, but when his eyes fell on Sasori's empty bed the hurt came back full force. The pain the unbelievably empty pain, it burned his heart and soul. Tears stung his eyes once more.

"Why won't it go away, un? It hurts!" he cried. Tearing at his hair. He felt sudden shame. It was his fault, he shouldn't have left. He should have stayed to help Sasori. Then he could have take the hit for Sasori, he would still be alive.

_I agree now Danna, art should be everlasting. Please, please come back. I'm so afraid to be alone._ A loud banging came from the door, breaking the silence.

"Deidara-sempai, come out its time for dinner." No response. Tobi sigh and opened the door. "Sempai please, you need to eat. You didn't eat yesterday. Tobi is worried."

"Don't worry Tobi I'll be fine. I just want some time to myself, un." But Tobi could see the tears sliding down his face, but he said nothing and hoped his best friend would be ok.

_Can't wash it all away  
Can't wish it all away  
Can't cry it all away  
Can't scratch it all away_

Deidara sat on the bathroom floor, a kunai in one hand. Blood seeped of his skin onto the tile floor. Tears rolled from his eyes, an empty beer can next to him. _It won't go away, it's still there. Why, why won't I just forget?_

_Lying beside you  
Listening to you breathe  
The life that flows inside of you  
Burns inside of me  
Hold and speak to me  
Of love without a sound  
Tell me you will live through this  
And I will die for you  
Cast me not away  
Say you'll be with me  
For I know I cannot  
Bear it all alone_

"Sempai, please stop doing this to yourself. You're not alone Sempai…you're never alone."

He lay there letting Tobi treat his wrist. He didn't comprehended what he was saying all he heard was Tobi's breathing. Think of how they could still live while Sasori was dead. Everything was mute, he couldn't anything accepted what was playing in his mind. Taunting images of better day, happier days, filled with laughter. Days that were long gone. _I can't do this all alone._

_Can't fight it all away  
Can't hope it all away  
Can't scream it all away  
It just won't fade away, No_

Can't wash it all away  
Can't wish it all away  
Can't cry it all away  
Can't scratch it all away

This was it, this was his chance to escape this world and take a damn uchiha. I get to be with Danna again. I'm coming Danna, wait for me.

_Those eyes… those eyes that look down upon me. Those eyes that do not appreciate my art, un. Those eyes that reject my art, those eyes that ignore my creatations. I'm sick of them, sick of those eyes, of those unworthy eyes, un…those eyes shall see no more._ "The blast is over a 10 kilometers, **YOU WILL NEVER SURVIVE!"**

"NOW SHOW ME YOUR FEAR! Drowned yourself in awe and despair! Cry like a lost child! Because my art is…**A BLAST!"**

And then he exploded. His eyes fluttered open to a lush green meadow full of wild flowers. And in the middle of the field was Sasori, red hair gleaming in the sun. Deidara embraced him in a hug.

"I waited for you Deidara. And didn't mind at all you were worth it."

"…Danna, un."

_"But the answer is always  
there. Nothing is ever  
really forgotten."  
"Because I'm tired of it too."  
"Because I'm tired of it too."  
"Because I'm tired of it too."  
"Because I'm tired of it too."  
"Because I'm tired of it too."_


End file.
